"All By Myself", Grey"s Anatomy

Each week at the end of every episode of Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Grey gives her soliloquy or monologue or whatever you want to call it none of which are ever really profound in my opinion and are only things that people who don't have any real issues can relate to. Like the cute Latina surgeon who can not make up her on mind about her sexual orientation or friends who swap sex partners at work because they have no life out side of each other.

But this morning I was laying on my couch in an effort to clean out my TiVo box off all the things I can't watch during the week when the lispy little Meridith Grey said something that to my surprise was not only noteworthy but also had me in tears. I was literally sitting on my couch crying my eyes out over this forty-five second speech that was meant to inspire nothing more than viewers to turn to NBC next Thursday for another episode. But there I was unable to catch my breath because of the following statement:

"We enter the world alone and we leave it alone and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support. Otherwise we are in it by ourselves, strangers cut off from each other and we forget just how connected we all are. So instead we choose love we choose life and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone."

I started thinking, here I am all alone in Dallas no where near the ones I love and love me. No wonder I am sooooo lonely. No wonder my son is soooo miserable here in Dallas. We have no one here that really loves us and I have no support.

Yes we have met some wonderful people who have included us into their lives and shared some good times with us and friends from the past who reside here as well, but on a day to day basis we are alone. So what is it all worth. What is it worth to be here in Dallas alone, not happy.

I had actual become accustomed to being by myself during the year I lived here before Joseph arrived. But it is hard to get a child to understand that there is really nothing wrong with solitude.

I realize that I have friends in California. Ride or die to the end of the earth Thelma and Louise homegirls. Friends that I see all the time, whose ideals and values are like mine and we understand each other.

I have a family that loves and supports me no matter what. So why am I here, why are we 1432.41 miles from the people who care for us the most.

I have made the threat a million times, but this time it may be a promise, I am going to move home this summer.

j