Gwen Gwen

Lady Gweneth decided to have a baby or two and then poof instantaneously became the weird American/Euro trash junkie we see photographed before us.

With this dress Banana's mommy is saying breast feeding did not do for me what it did for Heidi Klum.

Women who have man chests like Nicole Kidman, Sienna Miller and that one dark haired 80 year old cougar from Desperate house wives should showcase their really great hair or long legs or newly injected lips. But please don't make me have to look at this horror of a site again, ever.

I can just see her having one cocktail too many and totally exposing her nipplette to the pappos and being totally unaware until TMZ posts the flicks on their website with a ? mark asking people to take a pole on whether her nipplette is exposed or she has a really big pimple on her chest.

And please Paltrow fans, don't blame the dress. Blame her sorry a** homegirl that told her the dress was hot even though she could see plain as day the midget elbows busting out from under her shoulders. If she would have been able to get that extra breast meat from her upper chest area to get along with her nipple area, this ensemble may have been more of a success than a disaster and this blog would have been all about those adorable shoes she she should not have worn with the adorably petite cocktail dress.

I know a personal shopper who works at the Beverly Center who could have put together a better non-red carpet ensemble than this.

All publicity aint good GP. You might as well take that off and let little Grape have some funplaying dress up.